UNALTERED NOTCH__desperate housepets
Emotional Hook: WOODY GUTHRIE 

Get out! A police rendering!? Aliases and nicknames? While a notched ear and a bum paw certainly count as distinguishing characteristics, where’s the heartbreaking all-American folk song about the rail-raiding pet owner forced to draw his missing boxcar pal instead of providing a photo?

It could go something like this:

He clawed my eyes out the mornin’ we met, 
but he did a lot worse to that ol’ county vet
He’s rollin’ over, and he’s doin’ things…
He’s rollin’ over, and he’s doin’ things…

Why, he’ll eat splinters if he can’t find a mouse,
and bed down with dogs long before a house
He’s rollin’ over, and he’s doin’ things…
He’s rollin’ over, and he’s doin’ things…

UNALTERED NOTCH__desperate housepetsGraphic Appeal: OFF THE CHARTS
This person dances to their own tune like nobody’s business. And we salute ’em for it.

Climate Durability: DRY WEATHER IDEAL
Except for the sun-cook, this one has held up pretty well. Then again, given its sheer collectability, it couldn’t have been up too long…

Coherency Index: MODERATE
We’re not sure what “unaltered” means on a broken toed, notch-eared cat, but otherwise this flyer is pretty clear: its author has lost yet another drinking buddy.

Hmm…This plea for help might have been more effective if it hadn’t been found on a derelict store front.

Futility Factor: GOOD OR BAD
Since creating this flyer, the owner has probably been swept up in a moonshine distillery sting. By the time he’s served his or her sentence, “Doing Things” could be in Nova Scotia, living the life of a bitter, former breakfast cereal box model.

Bonus Points/Cheap Shots:
Our guess is that the little pink crayon tongue was added by the author’s current lady-friend, “Wanda,” in a boozy effort to “be a part of something that matters.”

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